The time is now.

Time for Change - Ornate Clock

Wanting change in your life is a universal yearning. Everyone wants change in their life but those who actually achieve this change are a minority. Wanting and achieving are totally different and they all require a certain degree of energy. Change is inevitable but I am talking about accomplishments or a desired success that you want to achieve. It can be at work, school, in your relationships and in all facets of your life.

“Change will not happen if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” Barack Obama.

Most of us are in a position they don’t want to be in.They are either stuck in a job they hate, a relationship they loathe or just plainly hate the lifestyle they are in. The world won’t stop for you, nor will anybody make those changes for you, all these can only be done by you, and no body else. Not your parents, your spouse or your friends. The time of change is now, not tomorrow or next year but now. This very minute. Take a deep breath and say to your self, “the time is now.”

I will start off by the wise words of one Paul R. Scheele, Chairman, Strategies Corporation, he says, 

“the phrase I can’t is the most powerful force of negation in the human psyche.”

When you embark on this journey you need to start off by clearing your mind from negativity. This leads to a more serene line of thought because negativity breeds fruitlessness and hopelessness. The phrase “I can’t”  disempower you from achieving any solid success, learn to change those words with “I can.” Every morning stand in front of your mirror and chant the words ” I can”, over and over until you actually soak it in and believe it unconditionally. Remind yourself that you only have one life to live and you owe it to yourself to live it the way you feel will bring you happiness. Take those first steps by first changing your attitude.

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The journey of seeking ultimate change requires you to be a vessel to carry out the important mission.Being a vessel you have to be mentally, psychologically and physically ready to ultimately reach your destination.Exercise your mind by reading beneficial books, learn to be emotionally intelligent and feed your body healthy nutritious food. Pray to God for guidance, strength and a peace of mind. All these combined will make you calm and you will be a fully functioning person.The goal here is to be a pure vessel, during this journey it’s paramount to be in the zone, in the present. Take responsibility for your actions  and never blame others for your failures, this notion sets you apart from being a success or a whining self loathing success wannabe.

Stan Dale [founder of the Human Awareness Institute and author of Fantasies Can Set You Free ] says about himself,

I have always been the opposite of a paranoid. I operate as if everyone is part of a plot to enhance my well-being.”

This is a beautiful concept that will elevate you from the rest,  it’s rewarding to have such positive views about life. If we imagine the whole world and everything in it is helping us, nudging us and cheering for us. This is a clear indication of how positive thought processes leads to change and success. In the long run being paranoid leads to a mental decay, shut down and depression. Take Stan Dale’s advice and become an inverse paranoid.

change-simon-wordle-24Patience is key even though you need to make the changes immediately, you need to exercise patience because the journey can’t happen overnight. It takes time to accomplish complete change in acquiring your desired lifestyle. Take the bull by the horns and be bold and eager. If you are set to make the necessary changes, do so immediately with vigour and humility.

Don’t give up when it gets tough along the way. If anything “bad” happens remember it could be a start of something greater and better.

“Verily, with hardship there comes ease.” Al-Qura’n [94:6]

Personally, discovering the pathway to everlasting change took me a long time. I have always wanted something different for my life. I felt a painful yearning for achieving my dreams. It was an emotional battle. The day I discovered I wasn’t alone in this quest I let out a sigh of relief. After making a lot of prayers to God, I discovered prayers only doesn’t make those changes to take form. God wants you to seek it, through his guidance and your hard work everything will fall into place. My main catalyst that led to my journey was the discovery of the concept that I coined “self blaming”. Only when I stopped blaming  others for lack of self drive and blamed myself for being weak and scared, only then did I truly appreciate the changes that took place in my life. I discovered what I vehemently sought.

Whatever you yearn for will come as long as you are ready to do the hard work. You will truly benefit from being whole again. Embark on this journey and brace yourself for an experience of a lifetime.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Finding your passion

woman-hand-smartphone-deskI have always wanted to find what makes my heart skip a beat, that special something that gives me exhilarating happiness. It is no easy task I can assure you, but it’s worth all the trouble. Sometimes our busy lives cloud our vision for that perfect niche that describes our happiness. Don’t get me wrong a lot of people are content with what they have going on in their lives. I am addressing those that have an aching desire for something they can’t actually put a finger on. If you feel there is a void in your life that can’t seem to be filled after praying about it, soul searching and meditating, then you are seeking your passion.

Personally I have gone through a phase in my life where I felt alone, misunderstood and vulnerable. A place where I have felt so much confusion, distress and a longing for something greater. Those were the most trying times in my life, how I overcame those crippling feelings led me to discover my passion. Dig deep in your soul and ask yourself a few questions, is it worth it? Am I ready to embrace the changes that will eclipse my rather “safe” life? Would I be selfish to think of myself first?

If you have answered yes to these three crucial questions then you are ready to find your inner drive. Take the first steps towards achieving your dreams, don’t let people tell you that you can’t do it, rather focus on the people who push you when the going gets tough. Be a bright red rose amidst the sharp thorns, be bold, bright and beautiful.

There are several steps that can help you jump start your search, below are four easy steps that will be helpful towards achieving your dreams;

  1. Change your attitude; if you always seem to find excuses not to follow a certain path that you feel you need to be taking, then you have to take the first step and change your whole perspective about that particular drive. You have to believe you can do it, and no matter what your mind tells you, be positive and change your thoughts. Our thoughts are our first force towards undertaking this difficult task, our perception of how capable we are in achieving our dreams is a key ingredient.
  2. Set your goals; always be proactive and set your goals and dreams and work tirelessly towards achieving them. The time is now, you have to live in the moment and make things happen for yourself because there isn’t anybody who is going to do your work for you.
  3. Be success oriented; don’t give up after failing, how you rise from falling is a determinant of how successful you will be. Learn from your mistakes and always base your success on being a learner rather than a quitter.
  4. Have a mentor/coach; when you are on the path of self evaluation or self-discovery it’s paramount to have someone to look up to. It could be someone you admire and has the same passion as you or has succeeded in the niche you want to be in. Someone you can emulate so as to get those results that they themselves have achieved.Having a life coach also helps a lot towards self-development, he/she can generally help you discover your obstacles or challenges and help you choose a course of action to make your life be how you want it to be.

 

These steps will get you to achieve positive results, they are simple and efficient. Achieving your passion is a process that will require patience and resilience, but most importantly it will come to you when the time is right. Work hard and pray harder, exchange those negative thoughts with a more optimistic view on life and remember to be humble. All the best

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hijab mystery

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The hijab has always been a topic of major debates; it has been used as evidence in most arguments concerning oppression of women. It has inspired laws to be passed in free democratic countries against wearing it. Women wearing the hijab have been deemed as being oppressed, backward and weird; why has this mere piece of clothing cause so much discomfort to everyone else except the women who actually adorn it?
Most religious institutions actually revere and respect the head covering, the catholic nuns for instance, they proudly wear a head covering similar to a hijab. They are respected, loved and are seen as modest and pure women of the society. Sadly though, Muslim women don’t get such positive feedback, why the double standard? And who is behind this rhetoric?

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To get the answers to these questions, we have to look at the women who wear it; while some Muslim women do not perceive the hijab to be obligatory to their faith, other Muslim women wear the hijab as a means of visibly expressing their identity and others simply wear it to connect with their culture and/or roots. Whatever reasons Muslim women have to wear the hijab is not subject for questioning or for refuting the validity of their intentions. Wearing the hijab is a personal choice and everyone has a right to freely express their religion because it is a basic right, unfortunately, Muslim women across the globe especially the west have been subjected to violence and assault for simply practicing their religion, they have been discriminated against at their workplaces and have been denied a lot of opportunities.
The mystery of the hijab is a subject worth exploring further; it begs the question; why does it cause immense paranoia? The media has tarnished the integrity of the hijab portraying it as being a symbol of oppression and backwardness. These notion can’t be further from the truth, the hijab is quite the opposite of what it has been made out to be; it defies the laxed societal norms, it’s a protection against an over sexualized era; it is a symbol of freedom from oppression, the hijab is a warrior that fights a society that applauds nudity but vehemently shuns modesty. This is a society that fears and consequently attacks a woman because she made a choice to hide her body from unwanted prying eyes. Muslim women have the right to express themselves freely without being pushed to conformity and assimilation because after all is said and done the hijab is here to stay. The more the fight against it continues, the more the hijab will be fully and unequivocally embraced. This fight is not for the Muslim women only, it is for all women, our bodies have been commercially sexualized to sell everything from a luxury car to a piece of chewing gum, the double standard is unparalleled in the mainstream society, we have to speak out against the unfairness because we are much more than a sales angle and most importantly tolerance should be practiced by all.

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As a Muslim woman who wears the hijab I can assure the fear mongers that I am not oppressed, to be precise I am empowered. The hijab has never been a hindrance for achieving my dreams and leading a normal life. I do not detest wearing it and most importantly no one is forcing me to put it on, it’s a personal choice; it is part of my identity, being a modest, God fearing woman. And on a lighter note it protects my hair from the harsh UV rays. I embrace my hijab and I tolerate difference and I work towards co existing and respecting others regardless of creed, race and nationality. The hijab is much more than a head gear, it’s a way of life; to practice good speech is part of the hijab. Protecting the sanctity of the body is hijab and being an upright member of the society is hijab.

Eight ways to induce laughter

Purple Thistle

  1. Positivism is one of the most crucial ingredient towards living a life devoid of heartache and stress. Learning to instill happy thoughts in your mind will lead you to live an authentic lifestyle.
  2. You have the capabilities to create you own joy, many people make the mistake of defining their happiness in relation to other people- a point to note- your happiness solely depends on you.
  3. Taking responsibility for your own actions and to always strive in making the right decisions. Living an optimistic way of life that’ll lead you to be appreciated as a fully functioning individual.
  4. You have to be emotionally independent in the pursuit of happiness. To get a positive outcome depends solely on your ability of how you react to an event. Rid yourself the urge to negate everything and always see the good in people and situations.
  5. One way towards achieving laughter in your life is by creating a sublime mentality. Never settle for a minuscule negativity in your heart, build a network of constant supply of joy. Invest in travel, read widely, meditate and always smile to boost those happy hormones.
  6. Give yourself a pat on the back once in a while to revitalise your self esteem. Reinforce your strengths to reverse your contemn of yourself.
  7. Appreciate your state of being- you are alive- and you are able to experience the vastness of your blessings. You are not a parody of “ugly betty”, you are beautiful just the way you are. Be bold, be beautiful, be authentically fabulous. Most importantly, be humble to achieve laughter and love.
  8. Be the reason behind other people’s happiness- a rose- that causes sensations of the senses. Paint the dark walls white with the brushes of your patience and empathy. Brand yourself as a giver of hope to the destitute, when you learn to make others happy you will be more at peace with yourself. You will find true happiness through empowering the weak.

Seven Steps towards moving on.

Footpath through dense greeneryLove is a beautiful thing, experiencing love in all forms is one of the most fulfilling things in life. Alot of people say love hurts, or it hurts to love, well in all honesty love doesn’t hurt. If you are experiencing a love that causes you emotional pain then it’s a kind of love you need to let go. We take ourselves for granted, we stick to people who hurt us countless times, we make excuses for them in the name of love but in real sense they are manipulating us. We have to be smarter and learn to experience painless love. Love has to be experienced in moderation, otherwise it will evolve into obsession which is not healthy. There are ways to move on from a painful love. Here are seven ststeps to take when dealing with a broken relationship.

  1. Love yourself first before letting yourself love again. When you go through heartache it’s imperative that you take time to analyse yourself first . Understand your self love and forgive the source of your heartbreak. Remember time heals, so always take slow steady steps to avoid dealing with previous hurt in a new relationship.
  2. Be honest, we all heard of the phrase honesty is the best policy. Being truthful in how you feel will help you deal with a new love Don’t deny yourself the right to mourn a lost love, be very frank and in tune with your feelings, it will help you to be more happier and at peace.
  3. Be selfish, don’t get me wrong this does not justify the self centred kind of selfishness, but rather being selfish with your feelings. Don’t love too fast too soon, take baby steps to avoid giving too much than what you are receiving.
  4. Be emotionally strong, don’t let a broken heart break you. Learn to deal with pain and confusion whilst still being in control of your self. Learn to cope, seek a professional counsellor or a life coach. It’s always a good idea to let a proffessional help you.
  5. Forgive the people who have hurt you, believe me this is the best remedy. You will be able to unlock the pathway to more freedom. If you don’t forgive you will be sheltering grudges and pain. It’s not healthy nor is it going to let you move on to a brighter future where you will be in control.
  6. Do your research, knowledge is power, find out the signs of a broken relationship. Read books concerning it. Don’t stick to a relationship that causes you suffering. When it’s time to move on you will be better equipped to deal with the heartache.
  7. Don’t fear the unknown, a lot of people adhere to a broken relationship because they fear the unknown. Fear makes you weak and confused, it is not in your place to fear what is not in your control. Be bold and more focused, deal with problems boldly. Move on and hope for the best you dedeserve happiness and joy only comes yo those who create it.

Empowered Muslimah

 

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We all know being a woman is hard, now imagine being an empowered muslim woman. I guess its an enormous task to even think you can be empowered while being a muslim woman with all the scarves, burqa, veils, long skirts and all the clothes we put on. I guess we have been conditioned to believe being an empowered woman means we have to be all caked up with ten shades of foundation on our faces and false eye lashes that compete with the lashes of a camel. We have to be speaking a certain way and have long nails that have the capabilities to gorge out eyeballs from their sockets. To be empowered we have to wear a pair of six inch heel and shun flat shoes like the plague, we go home in the evening and cry ourselves to sleep because of how sore our feet are. We have to shop at exclusive designer shops suffocating our selves with debt. For us to be empowered we have to assimilate to other cultures and dim our own as being backward, we have to exercise our freedom of speech not caring who we are hurting with our demeaning statements or intelligent insults that has become the norm these days. Being crowned empowered queens we have to be the same as the man, equality is mandatory. Our bodies are used to sell everything from cars to gum and our girls are taught that for them to be beautiful they have to have certain characteristics, they have to have certain traits and laugh a certain way to earn being cool empowered chicks. We are laughed at for being different, subtle, shy and modest. We should strive not to be empowered women but rather to become empowered muslimahs.

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As an empowered muslimah we are taught that we have rights to pursue education, to work and earn a living,  while still being modest. We have rights to choose our spouse and not to succumb to the laxed societal values. We are not made to feel like being different is a crime but rather everyone is unique and beautiful just the way they are. The hijab we put on is a sign of modesty, self respect and freedom from trying too hard to become what we are not. To be an empowered muslimah is to be an upright God fearing, happy person. We help the helpless and we make a difference in our society by being in our natural state. We filter our words and only speak the truth, we stay away from profanity and vulgar language. We don’t want to be equal to a man, we want to continue being women because we are much better being ourselves than competing to be a gender we are not. We are confident, beautiful and we are rare pearls, so if you are a muslimah be proud and hold your head high, don’t fall prey to the footsteps of satan. Let us all embrace our prized possession and that is our faith islam, let us spread the beauty of being muslimahs to the rest of the world. Let us change the rhetoric by being unique and true to ourselves, striving for excellence and empowering other women. We are not going to be dictated on how to be women, because being a woman does not entail having to reveal my body or to let go of my identity so as to fit in the mainstream society. Being a woman simply means to be an empowered muslimah.

 

Say yes to the “Yes” mentality

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How many of you have passed up opportunities believing that you can’t do the task? Or that you can’t start your business because you don’t have the capital. Do you always make up excuses for not being where you wanted to be in terms of success, or self development? Well we all do that, but its time to change, its time to believe in yourself and to take the first step, the first step is always the hardest.freeimages.co.uk workplace images

If you are stuck in a job you hate, its time to leave it and find yourself something you are passionate about. Life is too short, you need to make up your mind and make a difference in your life because Allah[swt] has a bigger plan for you. The journey of life is tiresome just like all journeys but the final destination is what matters, be courageous and believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it and everything will work in your favor if you are willing to put in the hard work.

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You are overweight and you can’t loose the weight, you decide enough of the diets and the back breaking exercises, “let me just eat all the bad food because its tasty, and I am not loosing weight anyway.” Poor mentality will lead to poor results, we all know shedding that weight is very difficult. But instead of giving up why not accept you are overweight and love yourself regardless and instead of stuffing your face with that burger eat healthy and move that body. Its all about choices make the right one and stick to it. The pounds will have no choice but to melt away.

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You have never ending issues with your husband, you think of giving up. Before letting go sit down and ask yourself what have you invested in the relationship? Do you always complain about things you can change? Are you being too harsh in how you handle differences? Work on yourself first before working on someone else. Most relationships seem to have universal problems in these modern times, couples don’t seem to give each other the time of day. Us women always complain, “he is always on his phone”, “he doesn’t help around the house”. Don’t get me wrong all these are valid problems, but in all honesty there are bigger problems in life. As long as you are not mentally or physically abused, you are ok. Learn to love yourself, enjoy your own company, take classes and most importantly work on your relationship with your creator, believe me you will be much happier. I know we yearn for the “Alehandro” in our husbands, but this is just fake, nothing  real there, all the more reason as to why you need to throw away those tv sets. I am not saying you don’t deserve all that you yearn for, all I am saying is to first fix ourselves and not to base our happiness on our poor husbands. When we learn to appreciate ourselves then we will appreciate others. Be the “Soledad” first then the “Alehandro” in him will shine through.

Take some time and reflect upon the blessings you have and quit complaining. Believe you can change your life to the better and take action. Say yes and make a difference.

 

 

 

 

Being me

Wet bedraggled white daisyAs much as I try to evaluate my self worth everyday I want every woman to evaluate herself. what makes you unique? Are you giving yourself a hard time? I know us women have a tendency to be perfect in all aspects of our lives. We want to be perfect daughters, perfect wives, perfect moms, perfect career women and most importantly we want to be perfect in our appearance. We yearn for the perfect body, small waist and a slimmer physique. Well, in all honesty we are not perfect and we will never be. However, we are unique with our messed up, frizzy hair, our faces full of acne and our not so perfect love lives. Its ok, because life isn’t about being a super woman, life is about being messed up and to be the tidiest chaos. We will always be having issues, what matters is accepting those issues and make the best out of it. work hard, live and let live, accept failures don’t let them define you. Only when we realize that we were created in the best of forms that’s when we will find true happiness. Only then will we live an authentic life.

Make a change this new year to find solace in your achievements rather than being depressed about vanity. Work hard and play harder, read books to live a thousand lives.  Take long leisurely walks, to appreciate nature.Cherish those who matter and forgive those who hurt you, only through forgiveness will you lead a life of serenity. Do not dwell on past mistakes rather learn from them to build your self. Be kind to everyone, support the poor and the needy, visit the sick. Most importantly work on your soul, nourish yourself with optimism. Be confident with yourself, and your capabilities. You will attract positive energy when you become a positive energy. We are all beautiful in our own unique way. Happy new year my fellow ladies, remember to smile and kill them with kindness.

self love

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I have always struggled with the concept of self love, I never understood it until recently. I never gave my self a pat on the back for my achievements, all I saw were my shortcomings. It took me a long time to graduate university, I never got a job when everyone else around me was getting hired left, right and centre. I got married five years ago and I have been struggling with infertility. This really heightened my lack of self love, I became stressed almost bordering depression. My relationship with my husband was affected really badly, we fought a lot and I almost ended my marriage so many times. All this happened in a short period of five years, all these self loathing and demeaning feelings i had in my heart was really changing me. I was changing really fast, my bubbly happy self was becoming extinct.

One day I experienced a paradigm shift, I had gone to visit my sick sister, she has chronic kidney disease and is on dialysis. She is also hypertensive and a diabetic. I stayed with her for four months, I got to see her struggle, and it was eye opening. Here was a person who has been sick for most of her life and now her kidneys have failed, and yet she always had the biggest smile ever. She always had stories to share, entertaining us all through the night. I realized I had no right to be sad or stressed, I was healthy, yes I am a tad bit overweight but I was healthy I wasn’t suffering from a chronic illness. I needed to be thankful, I needed to accept my shortcomings and embrace my flaws.

happy faceThis is all about self love, accepting all of your flaws and appreciating them and loving every bit of you because there are so many reasons as to why you are alive. we have a purpose, and although I yearn for the day  I will hold my little one in my arms i will appreciate my struggle and be content with it. I am not giving up on motherhood, nor of being a successful entrepreneur but I will live my life appreciating what I have and that is good health. I will love myself to the fullest.